Two Months Later: A Reflection

I think one of the hardest things about change are the endings. Spending weeks of experiencing a slew of "lasts" was both exciting and heartbreaking. Six weeks from my last service in Manitoba, I sat in a conference room in Gimli, looking around at all the faces that I've grown to love and care for, faces that I will likely never see again. Sure, everyone says they will stay in touch, and we probably mean it, at the time. But the truth is that soon there will be almost four provinces between us, two ecclesiastical provinces, and a multitude of dioceses. We all know that despite the best of intentions, staying in touch doesn't always happen.

I suppose part of my wonderings on that day was whether or not I'd be leaving behind any sort of legacy. Would I be remembered? It's human nature to want to be remembered, to not be forgotten, so I shouldn't have been surprised at these feelings. People kept telling me how much they will miss me, how much the diocese will miss me, and how much of a loss my leaving has created. But was it truth or platitudes? If it was indeed truth, why? What have I done that will be missed so greatly? What kind of person am I that will cause my presence to be missed? What is, or was, my story and why does, or did, it matter?

As I prepared to leave the only life I've ever known, I felt awfully insignificant. And yet, somehow, my story remains newsworthy. The Winnipeg Free Press ran my story one last time - the story of my time as a transgender priest in the Diocese of Rupert's Land. To me, my story isn't that interesting, but everyone seems to be interested in hearing it. Yet when I speak my story, it comes out sounding very boring. Maybe I'm telling it wrong? Do I need to learn how to be a better story-teller?

Despite the fascinating part of being a transgender priest, the rest of my life is relatively dull and normal, and overwhelmingly insignificant. I don't have any abuse in my life. I wasn't kicked out for being gay. I was accepted, to my face anyway, for being transgender. It doesn't feel like I've risked my life or suffered in any way for being my authentic self. This doesn't mean I haven't had awful things happen to me, sad and heart-breaking things, but are they newsworthy? Are they important enough to be part of the story people want to hear?

So, did I leave a legacy behind in Rupert's Land? Perhaps. It's been two months since I left Manitoba and I still haven't been to answer that question. All I can do now is look towards the future and build on the legacy that I want to leave in the Diocese of Islands and Inlets. Onward and upward, as they say.

A Review of the Book "The Wastelands" by Stephen King

Title The Wastelands: The Dark Tower Book III

Author: Stephen King

Publisher: The Penguin Group

Year: 1991

420 pages

From the Back: With The Wastelands, the third masterful novel in Stephen King's epic saga The Dark Tower, we again enter the realm of the mightiest imagination of our time. King's hero, Roland, the Last Gunslinger, moves ever closer to the Dark Tower of his dreams and nightmares - as he crosses a desert of damnation in a macabre world that is a twisted mirror image of our own. With him are those he has drawn to this world, street-smart Eddie Dean and courageous wheelchair-bound Susannah. Ahead of him are mind-rending revelations about who he is and what is driving him. Against him is arrayed a swelling legion of fiendish foes both more and less than human. And as the pace of action and adventure, discovery, and danger pulse-poundingly quickens, the reader is inescapably drawn into a breathtaking drama that is both hauntingly dream-like and eerily familiar. The Wastelands is a triumph in storytelling sorcery and further testament to Stephen King's novelistic master.

Personal Thoughts: I thought I would struggle with taking so long between installments of this story, but King has a was of drawing you into the story each time. He did end reviewing the previous novels at different points in the book so it wasn't hard to get caught up.

    The Dark Tower continues to be an exciting story and, as always, King's writing makes it hard to put the book down because you want to find out what happens next! This book ends on a cliffhanger, at which King even leaves the reader an apology letter for leaving us with a cliffhanger. That said, it's certainly one way to make sure the next book gets sold!

A Year-Long Exploration of the Sermon on the Mount: Week 34

Chapter 34 – Daily Bread

 

Give us today our daily bread… (Matthew 6:11)

 

A little bit of bread could be everything to someone who is hungry. It’s a staple in most households, and yet we take it for granted that that loaf of bread will always be available to us. When we pray to God for our daily bit of bread, that prayer can go a long way. Not only are we praying that our loaf of bread will continue to exist, but that all mouths will be fed. By saying “our daily bread”, we are recognizing that all mouths deserve to be fed. The prayer also extends to all the work that goes into making that loaf of bread, because it doesn’t suddenly appear in our homes.

 

Behind a single loaf of bread, there is an entire string of events that takes place, events that go mostly unseen. Seeds need to be planted, tended to, and harvested. Many people are involved in storing the grain and then, subsequently, turning that grain into bread. Then there are all the stores who are involved in the selling the bread. There is an entire line of relationships that go into making, and then consuming, bread.

 

God is all about relationship, and a relationship with God means maintaining relationship with others. As per Leonardo Boff, “When we present God with our own needs, [God] wants us to include those of our brothers and sisters. Otherwise the bonds of fellowship are severed and we live only for ourselves.” (p. 215)

 

We pray to God for our daily bread, but God doesn’t want us to keep that bread to ourselves. We are meant to share it with others so that no one is in need. If we only give crumbs, are we really taking care of our neighbour? Or would it be better to give a sandwich?