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In April 2021, I wrote an article for the Rupert's Land News about the joys of music-making in the midst of stress and loss. You can find it on their website by clicking here. I’ve also included the text below:
Sometimes it can be very hard to find peace in the hectic
busy-ness of life. For me, one of the guaranteed times that I found peace was
in Sunday worship. The joining of souls in common worship, in the saying in
unison of prayers and creeds, in singing thought-provoking hymns, and the
communion around the table have been a weekly resetting of my life for over a
decade now. While each experience is unique, the peacefulness found in worship
is common, I am sure.
For the last twelve months, while there have been worship services
using such tools as Zoom, Facebook Live, and YouTube, which have allowed us to
continue liturgical services and have perhaps joined us in new community, there
is a very different feel to that time of worship. Especially during these
difficult times, we have all had to find new ways to revive our spirits and
feed our souls outside of the standard litanies of praise.
Even outside of COVID-times, there are many ways that one could
find peace and praise outside of Sunday worship. For me, that has always been
music, especially playing the piano.
I first started learning to play the piano when I was three.
Granted, it wasn’t more than banging a few keys while learning rhythms and
sounds, but I have never been far from a keyboard since. I was taught through
the Royal Conservatory of Music and made it almost to the end of grade 9. There
was talk of going on to be a concert pianist, but my teachers were too serious
and my memory was terrible. They wanted me to memorize 10-page pieces and I
just wanted to play and sing along to my favorite Disney theme song.
For years, I would spend hours playing everything from Bach to
Bryan Adams, Scott Joplin to church hymns. As a geeky introvert, playing the
piano is how I would beat away the stresses of the day.
Of course, at the time, I didn’t realize that’s what was
happening. I just loved to play. So when I would have a rough day at school, I
would close the doors to the living room and play song after song after song. A
couple of hours would pass and I would feel better.
I learned to play other instruments as well, such as the flute and
various percussion instruments (the timpani were my favorite), but my true
skill lay in the piano and to the keyboard I always returned.
It never really occurred to me that playing the piano was a way of
reviving my spirit until a few years ago. During my clinical pastoral education
training (CPE), I was doing my placement at St Boniface Hospital. This was at a
time where I had a full time job, part time school, and my first church
placement as a postulant with hopes to be a priest in the Diocese. Not only
that but I had a partner and two school-aged children at home who also need my
love and time. To say it was a stressful time would be an understatement and
even Sunday morning worship wasn’t always able to bring me the peace for which
I sought.
In a conversation with my CPE instructor, we talked about stress
management and she asked what I did for self-care with regards to daily stress.
I thought that I wasn’t really doing much for self-care but upon further discernment,
I realized that playing the piano brought me peace and calmed my spirit.
The chapel at the hospital has a piano. I decided that before my
class I would play one song to reduce my stress and calm my nerves. I was
amazed at the change in my soul before heading off to do visits or go into
class.
I really shouldn’t have been surprised though. When I think back
on my teenage years of playing, I can now recall the peacefulness that would
come into my soul as I played.
Now I enjoy playing for my family and, especially, my partner.
Whenever everyone is feeling stressed, all I have to do is play their favorite
hymns or songs and you can feel a calm wash over the entire household.
Sometimes, listening to me play even helps my children to fall asleep.
Music is a very powerful force of nature and it is a universal language of the soul. Sometimes music is the only thing that takes your mind off everything else. Losing yourself in the words or the notes is just as much a litany of praise as is being pulled into a well-delivered sermon. Even as I write this reflection, I have the beautiful sounds of an orchestra playing in my ears. As I begin my liturgical preparation, I listen to Steve Bell. As I write my sermons, I listen to classical piano. Music has that way of bringing peace to the soul and, as it turns out, gets the creative juices flowing. As the quote says, “Music is life. That’s why our hearts have beats.”
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