Silence is a double-edged sword. It can be
equally beautiful and comforting, and dangerous and scary.
There are moments in
life where being silent or sitting in quiet can be important. In church
liturgy, there are various periods of silence strategically placed throughout a
worship service so that a person has time to reflect on what has been said, to meditate
and pray, and to open their heart to God.
Sitting in a silent vigil
next to a dying friend’s bed can be quite powerful, for both people. While it
may take time to acclimate yourself to simply sitting in silence with another
person (plenty of people find silent pauses uncomfortable), allowing for that
quiet to permeate the room can bring moments of reflection, meditation, and
prayer similar to those found in a worship service.
Jonathan Bartels, a
registered nurse in the US, created the Medical Pause. This event is a moment
of silence taken by medical staff and friends and family of the patient
immediately after death. This sacred moment of silence “allows individuals to
personalize their practice while not imposing onto others and is a means of honouring
a person’s last rite of passage.” (https://thepause.me/2015/10/01/about-the-medical-pause/)
These silent moments
are precious, beautiful, and comforting. They break up our busy lives, give us
time to hear our own thoughts, and they can reconnect us to God. These golden
moments can be tranquil and healing and are sometimes so rare that when they do
happen, one needs to take hold of them and cherish them.
However, silence has
a dark side to it, as well. While there are times in our lives when silence is
required, an imposed silence has a very different feeling. When a silence is
imposed, it means there is a voice that has been silenced. Perhaps someone is making
decisions for another person without consulting with them. Perhaps a voice is
silenced by passive aggressive comments. More than likely, this imposed silence
means that not all voices are being heard. Who is it that we are listening to
and who is it we are silencing?
Being unable to tell your story could mean life
or death. A person being abused, especially a woman being sexually abused, is
often silenced by dismissing comments or outright declarations of denial by
others. The abusee’s voice gets lost in the noise generated to protect the
abuser.
A transgender person living stealth will be in
constant fear that their secret will be discovered. It only takes one slip of
the tongue or one tiny rumour to destroy a person’s life and possibly cause
death, whether by their own hand or another’s.
These are only two examples of people are
being silenced in one way or another. The only thing worse than voices being
silenced are the bystanders who remain silent.
Desmond Tutu is attributed with the quote, “If
you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the
oppressor.” By silencing your own voice in situations of abuse or intolerance,
you are encouraging harassment, bullying, dismissal, and humiliation. So, whose
voice is being labelled as more important? And who is it that is being
silenced?
We as bystanders need to break the silence and
change the course of history. Breaking the silence can change laws and as a
result change a person’s life. Maybe even save a life.
It brings to mind Simon and Garfunkel’s song
“Sound of Silence”, particularly this verse:
“And
in the naked light, I saw
Ten thousand people,
maybe more
People talking without
speaking
People hearing without
listening
People writing songs
that voices never shared
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of
silence”
We have become
accustomed to the evil around us, desensitized to the point that we no longer
raise our voices against cruelty and injustice. No longer do we dare “disturb
the sound of silence.” Instead, it’s become easier to turn the other cheek and
allow the voices around us to be silenced. If we ignore a problem, it will
simply go away, right?
Clinical Pastoral
Care students are taught that a silent listener is important for voices to be
heard. That is what we need to be today – silent listeners. Space needs to be
given to all the voices who have been silenced over the years. To do this, we
need to shed our indifference and stand beside those who have been silenced,
historically and presently.
We can no longer be bystanders as victims of harassment, abuse, and violence are placated with half-promises and told to keep silent about events that have unfolded. We can longer be indifferent as death tolls rise from murder and suicide. It is long past the time for silent voices to be given the space they need to speak up against cruelty and injustice. It is time for those of us who have a voice, to speak up for those who have been silenced. It could mean the different between life and death.
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