Author: Jamie Howison
Publisher: Resource Publications
Year: 2021
77 pages
(A revised version of this review will be published in the June 2021 issue of Rupert's Land News.)
Grief is a powerful emotion, especially when it comes from a sudden event. When one can prepare, grief is still strong but seems sometimes to be more easily managed. Think about having a loved one die of a heart attack in their forties. Now think of a loved one who dies from years of painful illness or peacefully in their nineties. Grief still exists, but it is different in each of those situations. One can be prepared for, the other not so much. Everyone experiences and deals with their grief differently, and the loss being grieved isn’t always due to a death.
Marriages break down all the time, sadly, but for the most part, both people can usually see it coming. Fights. Distancing. Separation. Divorce. In the end, there is no surprise. But sometimes, that isn’t the case at all.
When Jamie Howison’s marriage broke down after eighteen years, it “came to an abrupt end, something I had not seen coming.” (Howison, Jamie. A Kind of Solitude. Eugene, OR: Resource Publications, 2021, p. ix) He fell into a deep grief that threatened to drag him down until a friend urged him to seek out spiritual direction. By providence, a letter arrived the day of that conversation from a friend of Jamie’s, Father Gary Thorne, who was, at the time, the Chaplain at the University of King’s College in Halifax.
“A Kind of Solitude” is Jamie’s telling of the five weeks he spent at King’s College five months after the end of his marriage, attempting to rediscover himself and find healing for his broken heart and broken soul.
During his time at King’s College, Jamie spent the majority of his time in solitude, sometimes reading, sometimes journaling, sometimes walking the streets around King’s or pacing the floor of his residence room, but also praying and writing an icon under the tutelage of one of the students. As well, Jamie went to the Chapel for the multitude of services that were available, had conversations with Father Gary, went on a retreat, and spent time with family. It was quite the structured five weeks, designed by Father Gary specifically aimed to help Jamie in the best possible way.
Many personal demons are battled through these chapters – anger, resentment, bitterness, hurt, fear – demons that many of us have likely experienced during times of deep grief. Jamie acknowledges that not everyone can have the time and opportunity that he did to address those demons, but is extremely grateful that he had that privilege because by the end of it, he “began to be free” (p. 72).
Jamie’s description of his thoughts and feelings written in “A Kind of Solitude”, not only throughout those five weeks but also during the time leading up to his departure for King’s College, is wrought with emotion. Reading his words, I felt the pain in Jamie’s heart and the darkness overcoming his soul. I could sense the despair that he was experiencing over the ending of his marriage, but I could also sense the light increasing as I travelled through those five weeks with Jamie.
In the final pages, tears flowed as I read about Jamie’s final days at King’s College, especially when Father Thorne says, “this is a community that always has room for the broken-hearted” (p. 70). It was then that I felt the shift in Jamie’s soul, and knew that he would come out of this experience ready to face what was next.
Jamie Howison was one of my first mentors as I journeyed the path to priesthood. I am extremely grateful to have had the opportunity to read his book because it has acted as part of his mentorship. I have some work of my own to do about past events in my life that I have been too scared to address. Reading Jamie’s story has shown me that allowing myself to grieve those events may weaken me at first but, in the end, I will be stronger for it.
Well said!
ReplyDelete