A Year-Long Exploration of the Sermon on the Mount: Week 19

Chapter 19 – Marriage

 

Reading this chapter of the book was awkward, to say the least. I understand that marriage is a sacrament of the church, but if the entire sanctity of the church relies on whether or not people get married, and stay married, then I think we have bigger problems than we realized. Going into this chapter, I was really hoping for a variety of viewpoints, but was sorely disappointed. Now that I’ve said that, let me say a few things about marriage, and about Matthew 5:31-32.

 

As a queer, divorced, and remarried man, I struggle with this verse. I can understand why people don’t want to get married. It can be complicated and messy. Some people simply want to stay single. For some, it’s still illegal to get married – mixed races, same genders, polyamory. Especially for those who have been divorced, sometimes the idea of becoming legally married again might seem not worth the trouble.

 

As well, there are many reasons people get divorced. Perhaps an abusive partner. Or maybe the couple were quite young when they got married and as time went on, the love simply wasn’t there anymore. Perhaps one person in the marriage realized they aren’t heterosexual and therefore remaining in a heterosexual marriage didn’t make sense to do. Assuming that a couple divorces because they were too lazy to work on their relationship is absurd, even thought that seems to be the common perception in today’s society.

 

There are many reasons why people do and don’t get married and there are just as many reasons why people do and don’t stay together. What I can’t hold faithfully is that the lack of marriage or the lack of divorce changes in any way the love that God has for us. Nor can I honestly believe that getting a divorce or being with a person who has been divorced is committing adultery. I think there’d be a lot of people trouble, otherwise.

 

I do believe that getting married brings in a level of visible commitment to another person, and I do believe that such a commitment should be built on love, honesty, and faithfulness. Do I believe that God will smite a person for ending said marriage? No. I can’t bring myself to hold this as truth.